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Dillon James West

Better Stories for Savvy People

My Big Fat Zombie Fun Book

COMING SOON!

By: Mo O’Hara with Dillon James West; Illustrated by Marek Jagucki

Release Date: 01.02.2018

Readers of Mo O’Hara’s New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish series take center stage in this new activity book as they solve puzzles, write comics and help thwart a brand new evil plan!

Ever since Tom zapped Frankie the Goldfish back to life as a BIG FAT ZOMBIE GOLDFISH with incredible hypnotic powers they have been working together with his best friend Pradeep to stop Tom’s evil scientist big brother Mark and his cute, but evil, vampire Kitten, Fang.

And now it’s YOUR turn…

Find the clues, solve the puzzles, avoid the traps, and help Tom and Frankie thwart Mark’s latest evil plan in this entertaining activity book adventure!

Continue Reading

Snow Before Sunset

You stand at the edge of a thick forest, branches bare in the midst of winter. Snow falls in thick sheets, blanketing the ground, cracking the trees, forcing your coat tighter. Were it not for the small sleds strapped to your soles, you’d be calf-deep in the powder, but for now, you can walk. A telegram sits carefully tucked inside your breast pocket. It’s message sets fire to your step. Continue Reading

One Thing About The Wee Free Men

My first thought upon finishing Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett was to write about First Sight and Second Thoughts, as this is the first time I’ve encountered it. However, I’m told First Sight, Second Thoughts is best shown in the first book about witches, and I really should have read first. My second thought, perhaps consequently, was how I wish “now” was not the first time I’d read this book. Continue Reading

Aesop’s Well

Emperor Aesop seeks a new royal adviser and you are his chosen applicants. To aid such decisions, he created Aesop’s Well – a community of prisoners, war hostages, and imperial agents locked behind foot-thick iron gates, deep within the caves of a mountain.

While masquerading as citizens, you are tasked with locating five specially-crafted keys hidden within Aesop’s Well. These keys will unlock the only exit, and all surviving applicants will be permitted leave. However, you will be under constant surveillance, and based on your actions, only one of you will be appointed royal adviser.

Aesop’s Well is a pen-and-paper roleplaying adventure for 3 or more players. The download includes everything you need to get started, but only the Storyteller should read it. If you’re unsure what role you’ll have in your game, read the rules below. Continue Reading

Supernatural: The Unofficial Card Game

Band together as Dean, Sam, Castiel, and Crowley to confront the evil forces of the Supernatural universe, solving conflict after conflict with careful planning, crafty teamwork, and creative use of the solutions at hand. Stab Abaddon with Dean’s first blade. Seduce Becky with Crowley’s night moves. Defeat Death with Jody’s mom voice. Use whatever you have to get the job done, because failure kick-starts the apocalypse and the end of the world as you know it. Saving people. Hunting things. It’s your family business now.

Supernatural: The Unofficial Card Game is a cooperative card game for 1-4 players. The download includes the game rules and print-ready sheets for 95 cards, arranged for two-sided printing. Continue Reading

One Thing About Animal Farm

In High School, in a creaking desk surrounded by the twin distractions of teenage angst and rebellious boredom, I read Animal Farm by George Orwell. Even through the haze of scraping pencils and muttered conversations, I saw the story was more complex than its size or theming might suggest. I saw the tracks of symbolism leading into a deep, literary forest I didn’t care to explore. I saw some sort of jab toward some government archetype I didn’t care to define. Because I was “that kid who reads a lot,” I respected the book more than my peers, but what I saw was assigned reading that took me away from the fantasy epics and sea-shanty classics I preferred. Continue Reading

The Offspring Equivalency

This is a speculative script for The Big Bang Theory. If you’re not familiar with the show, I’d recommend watching it first.


INT. PENNY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

THE GIRLS LOUNGE ON PENNY’S COUCH. PENNY AND AMY SIP WINE. BERNADETTE HOLDS A GLASS OF WATER.

BERNADETTE: I am sick and tired of these stupid restrictions! I can’t drink. I can’t smoke. I can’t eat certain foods.

PENNY: You smoke?

BERNADETTE: Well, no, but I like having the option.

AMY: You know, I got caught smoking at school once. They called my mother, and I spent a full weekend in the sin closet.

PENNY: Wow. I never would have pictured you as a smoker.

AMY: Oh, I wasn’t. A cheerleader set my hair on fire because I was breathing too much of her air. Continue Reading

AMTRAK: A Lesson in Expectation

A trip to my hometown (Monticello, KY) typically costs ~$400: two plane tickets (one for Morgan, one for me,) a cab-ride to LaGuardia airport, and miscellaneous airport food. The complete trip takes ~9 hours: 30 minutes to the airport, 30 minutes through security, 30 minutes waiting at the terminal, 30 minutes of boarding/preparation, 2.5 hours of flight, 30 minutes to exit the airport, 3.5 hours of driving home, and 30 minutes of stopping for food.

For this summer’s trip home, Morgan and I decided to try a different experience: trains. The trip cost ~$450: one private room on the train. The complete trip took ~23.5 hours: 1 hour subway ride to Penn Station, 30 minutes waiting at the terminal, 18 hours riding on the train, 3.5 hours of driving home, and 30 minutes of stopping for food. It was more expensive and more than twice the travel time. Was it worth it? Continue Reading

Honor The Yeti

High in the mountains wrapped in snow, the Yeti waits for the humans below to bring her gifts, that she might decide which villages are eaten come feeding time. Warriors fill their ceremonial chests with stones the color they think is best. Red, yellow, green, and blue, they sparkle and shine in glittering hues. I like them all, the Yeti thought, and devised a plan more fun to watch. She scattered the stones into her den, and said, “Bring me one of each to win.”

Honor the Yeti is a procedurally-assembled, strategy board game for 2-4 players. The download includes the game rules, print-ready sheets for 25 board cards, and a list of additional pieces you will need. Continue Reading

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